Have you ever noticed that girls are given more guidelines for catching and keeping a partner than boys are? Is that really fair, and in the end is it even logical?
Girls are told not to seem too eager, that they should "play hard to get." But did you know that when asked, an overwhelming majority of boys complain about the pressure of having to "make the first move," and wish that girls would initiate things?
Girls are told to always portray themselves as confident, but when a "confident" girl leaves the room, boys she leaves in her wake may interpret her attempt at seeming confident as vanity, or "being full of herself."
In the same lane, girls are told boys shy away from insecurity, and are told that insecurity is a major turn-off. So if there's a problem in the relationship, a girl often feels like she can't address it with her significant other, leaving her paranoid and frustrated. If she can't ask, she can't know if her fears are true, and most likely she'll be angry at herself for fearing in the first place, even if her misgivings are reasonable.
Girls are told not to seem needy or clingy. That means second guessing saying "I missed you," or "I want to talk to you," or "Could you stay?" Any of this could fall under a needy, clingy label, even though it might be something her boy wants to hear, or expects. Maybe a lack of healthy neediness could actually lead to doubts of a girl's investment in a relationship, when all she's trying to accomplish are her Girl Expectations.
Girls are advised not to talk about their problems because it makes them seem like complainers, or worse, whiners. Complaints, they are told, could make them seem hard to please or unattractive personality-wise to the opposite sex. Instead, they are supposed to be perky and happy, and always lend a sympathetic ear to the problems of the boy.
Girls are told to always be supportive of the boy, even though the boy may be making stupid decisions, or may not be the Einstein/Shaq he thinks he is. HOWEVER, they are told not to be TOO supportive, or they may seem motherly and, yet again, unattractive personality-wise. Like a hoverer. And no girl wants to be a hoverer.
Girls are told to be sexy. They are supposed to seem attractive, and are supposed to do everything they can to enhance their natural "gifts," but if a girl tries too hard, or shows too much, even though it may be appreciated by the opposite sex, she is viewed as skanky, slutty, or whore-ish, which actually makes her seem less like girlfriend and more like a one-night-stand (and face it, nobody wants to be a one-ngiht-stand, just like nobody really cares about a one-night-stand). So, sexy, but not too sexy.
...does any of this ring a bell, ladies? Does anybody see similar rules for the guys?
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This post was produced with the special help and inspiration of Madame Z. She's awesome, and Miss Morgan loves her much. SO you can send her fan-mail too at the above e-mail address.
