Don't Settle.

Whether or not we realize it, we all dream of settling. There's the very obvious, very much accepted (expected) idea of 'settling down'; you meet someone worth living with forever, and you do just that, potentially plus a kid or two. What's not to like? And then there's the childhood dream, the one where you think, "Oh, I'm going to marry that person one day," or, "I'm going to go canoeing down the Mississippi when I graduate, and that person is the one I'm trusting the oars to on the scary parts."

No matter what the scenario, if it's a childhood dream or just a dream by another name, it all seems very glamorous. The rose-colored glasses and insanely-devoted-doodling-on-notebook-pages kind of glamorous, that often infects with a fervor only otherwise found in intensely dangerous fevers. Such as the kind that mosquitoes spread. (I would have added a picture, but all the ones I found creeped me out).

Crazy insane doodles.

The problem with these glamorous dreams, though, is that they all fall flat eventually. Or they don't, which can be even worse. At the time, going to college with your high school crush and marrying them and having kids with really pretty eyes or the like may seem like a perfectly reasonable dream, but dreams like that are ways of limiting yourself without even realizing it. Not that I'm ragging on high school romances that work, because if they do, and they're good, then all the more power to them. 

But the world happens to be an awfully big place, and the idea of 'growing up' or leaving the people and friends you know can be a scary concept. That's why people cling to the dream of having what seems good and perfect at the moment, forever. It makes sense, from the point of view of someone who's just trying to keep things a little bit the same. 

This, however, is what these dreams do:

They saddle you down! They set you up for believing you've found the best before you've even had the opportunity to know what else there is! Dreams like these aren't really dreams at all; they're fantasies, rooted in a mere inability to look into a future where the world is unpredictable, and where you can't be sure you're headed for good things. These fantasies, which may seem to open doors or to be big and bold, are actually just ways of settling, and I mean the negative connotations of the word. You're going for second best when you don't even know if it's second, or 16th. 

But everybody thinks something along these lines at some time or another; the issue is that many of the people who do don't realize they're not doing themselves any favors. It's exciting to think of the future, yes, but think of the real future... the one you can only guess at. Think of the fun you could have, the troubles you could encounter, but realize that you just don't know. Plain and simple. Don't settle for a hazy solidification of something that's evanescent. In other words, just don't settle. Settling is the biggest mistake you could ever make yourself commit, and  fantasies of the settling nature belong in childhood, if they belong anywhere. So how about we all take a deep breath, let go of those 'dreams' we know aren't what we really need or want, and promise not to settle. 

Not even if the dream-kids would have really pretty eyes.

Yes, I stole this person's baby's picture.
But they put it on the internet.
Found it here.

P.S. Would someone PLEASE have the decency to submit a question for me to write about? As you can see, bad things happen when I don't have any guidelines. http://www.formspring.me/chocolateneeded

Submit A Question

It's up and running! Not very glamorous, but functional, and function is what counts. http://formspring.me/ChocolateNeeded

Friday the 13th (aka The Podcast Post)

On an auspicious day such as today, it feels wrong not to write a post. Similar to the feeling one gets when not ordering popcorn at the movies; maybe you don't really want to, but it's a requirement. All of which is basically to say that this post doesn't particularly have to do with anything.

But wait! I spoke too soon!

Tonight's post is about podcasts. To be more specific, a podcast that I am a huge fan of (and if you are a fan of Chocolate Needed, one that you should be a fan of, too). The most hilarious podcast in existence, it beats Ask a Ninja 10 times out of 10, involves people's odd, embarrassing, and just plain weird secrets, advice in response to said secrets, and the three attractive voices of three attractive guys from Seattle. What's possibly not to like?

I would be referring, of course, to Kiss and Tell, the best podcast in the entire world. It's not a "chick podcast," or a "guy podcast;" it's got something for everybody, seeing as the people behind it are male and the secrets and responses have humor potential for anyone. Basically, people go to their website and submit anonymous secrets. About anything. If they're any good, they read them on their show, answer questions that might have been asked, and analyze the people in the nicest, least judgmental way possible. They're amazing.

And I am very shamelessly promoting them.

www.kissandtellcast.com

As well as making me literally laugh out loud (embarrassingly) in public, this podcast has inspired me. The very anonymity of these secrets makes it so very appealing to submit them; after all, what's to lose? They get over ten to discuss every week. Can you imagine if I had that many questions to answer? It would be ridiculous. It would also, however, be more entertaining than getting zero questions. And I have a theory about this: there isn't a way for people to conveniently, anonymously ask anything. E-mail is not anonymous, or very convenient, so why would anybody send in a question?

My goal is to somehow get an ask box. And start a podcast. The last bit might be unnecessary, but hey; podcasts are fun. And easier to promote, since there's no iTunes section for blogs (yet).

But to wrap up this sloppy thought-train, go to iTunes and subscribe to Kiss and Tell. It's free, and fun, and your life will be better after you listen to Scott, Maré, and Cory for an hour. I promise. And let me know somehow about the whole podcast thing... good idea?


May Jason not hunt you down this day or any Friday the 13th hereafter.