As mentioned in the title, this post is a response to a request for advice on liking a close friend. In case there is any confusion, "liking" is meant to hold more romantic connotations than what a plain old friendship would have. I was asked to list pros and cons, which I will do (in the next post: however I recommend you don't skip this one), but first I would like to share my personal opinion on the subject: don't do it.
You have to understand that liking someone as more than a friend is different from being close friends with someone, in more than just the obvious ways. The expectations and, mainly, the responsibilities, are very, very different. Friends stick by each other through every conflict they are capable of. They support each other's decisions as best as they are able, even if they don't agree with them, because that's what friends are for. They'll try to stop you from doing something detrimental to yourself, but if that's what you're going to do (without a doubt), then they will be there for you. If your boyfriend wanted to kiss another girl at a party, you wouldn't support that decision. If your crush/boyfriend promised to call and then didn't, no matter how great his explanation, you would still be hurt. If the boy you liked had a thing for a girl who wasn't you, you would hate her. Period. (And probably him too.)
Now imagine this boy is your best friend. You've always been there for him. You read the poem he wrote his girlfriend for their 6 month anniversary to make sure it was half-decent. You give him ideas of gifts to give her. You tell him everything will be OK when he thinks there is trouble. You tell him all the reasons why his girlfriend is lucky to have him when he forgets. You support him, no matter what.
Would you want to do that if his girlfriend was the one girl in the world you were dying to be? If you wanted to hate her SO badly, but instead you became her friend because you knew that would make him happy? If you had to smile and say, "That's great" when he told you he was going to ask her out, when all you wanted to do was burst into tears? Who would want to do all that??
So MAYBE, just maybe, he might like you back. And MAYBE, just maybe, he'll tell you that before he changes his mind and decides to like someone else so as not to ruin the close friendship the two of you have. And MAYBE, just maybe, the two of you will be really happy together, and (if you break up) never let it ruin the close bond the two of you have. But is it really worth the risk?
My opinion on liking a close friend as more than a friend? Avoid it at all costs. Because it will only cause you heartache in the end, and there's enough of that in the world as it is.
