As I promised, the following are the pros and cons of liking a close friend as more than a friend. as The previous post might have led someone to believe that I think there is something horribly wrong with liking a close friend; I don't, but my personal opinion is against it [an opinion I got from personal experience]. But everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I'll try not to let mine affect my lists.
Pros:
- You're already close friends! You like spending time with this person, and they like spending time with you. That's a good start.
- You know this person well. They know things that drive you nuts, and know how not to do those. They also know your birthday, your obsession with romantically pointless movies, and other things that it takes a while to learn.
- They already know that you are certifiably insane, and they love you for it anyway. This eliminates a lot of the insecurities involved with liking someone you don't know well.
- If you're close friends, at this point you probably known and are known to most of their friends (if you aren't already friends with them). This person has also probably been approved by your friends, since the likelihood that they are friends with your friends is pretty high. That also means their friends and your friends are probably trying to help the relationship.
Cons:
- Just like the pro, you know this person well. That means all the things you know about them that aren't that great you now have to put up with in a different way. Ex. Say you know your friend has never been able to be faithful to his girlfriends. He's your friend, so you just rolled your eyes. Now YOU are interested in being his significant other...see what I mean?
- Since you two are friends, it may have never occurred to them that you could be anything other than friends. That's a tough bridge to cross.
- The whole friend thing can be just as problematic as helpful: if you like this person it's just as possible that one of your friends, who is also friends with them, does too. Maybe they announced this affection before it even occurred to you, or maybe they just announced it before you could. Either way, you have to honor that your friend 'liked them first.'
- If the feelings are returned, the trouble isn't over: a line many a girl has heard from a close friend they liked is "I don't want to ruin our friendship." It makes sense, I suppose; a break-up of any kind would almost be guaranteed to put a dent in that relationship. But what this comment really means is that your close friend would rather play it safe, even though dating you could be worth the risk. If you want to change that, it will take a lot of work on your part, and most likely that won't even change anything.
Hope those helped! If anyone has anything they would like to contribute, comment and I'll add it.
