Question #9 - Bigger Than Four Letters

What do you do if your partner tells you they love you, and you've been hinting for a while that you want them to say it, and when they finally do, you realize how much it actually means and just can't genuinely say it back?

Love; it strikes again!

It's funny (not funny 'haha', funny weird) that you're having this issue, since recently I had a similar blip myself. And let me just say that I understand how crazy it can be when that realization hits home.

But what to do? First, let's figure out the basics. 

Obviously you're with someone. A partner, which implies a commitment. Also, you've been wanting them to say they love you, so you must have thought at one point that you loved them. And lastly, when it came time to lay your cards down on the table, you realized you no longer believed you loved them.

Now that may sound harsh, but I'm not saying you don't have feelings for them; I'm just clarifying that you said you didn't love them (in less words). Pairing that with a commitment, you've got a dilemma. And your dilemma has several solutions:

• Fake it till you feel it. Pretty self explanatory; get past the need to be absolutely genuine and just say it. If you truly care about this person, and if you've thought you were at the love-level before, you're most likely on your way to being there legitimately. Besides, haven't you heard? Throwing the word 'love' around is all the rage with the kids these days.
• Honesty's the best policy. Just tell your partner what's going on. And if things happened the way it sounds like they did, this person has probably already noticed the cat got your tongue when it came to the "I love you"s. An explanation is a good place to start, particularly if they were made to feel that opening up like that was what you wanted. (Hint: This is the most responsible option)
• Pack up shop. You're in a relationship with someone you don't love. Does that seem very logical?? (This is definitely the most drastic thing you could do, and I'm sure the most damaging and unnecessary, but it's still an option if you begin to feel like your relationship has hit its peak and is now in a colossal downward spiral.)

But before you think about any of these, you need to sit down and feel things out. Is it that love is a such a powerful word, and you need time to think about the ramifications of saying it? Does it get stuck when you try to say it, or do you just feel dishonest when you picture doing so? There's a difference between being unable to say "I love you" and feeling it would be wrong to if you did, so it's up to you to figure out exactly what's going on. Perhaps you just need to wait, or this isn't the right relationship for the word. Whatever the reason may be, just do what feels best, and it will work out in the end.

Hope this helped!

P.S. If it didn't, send me another message. I'm having an underfunded idea day.