Hey. So, actual question here... What would you recommend for a long distance friendship that is sort of...falling apart (for lack of a more accurate phrase)? How do I bring this up, or try to fix it without being...well, awkward?
*[Since I don't know your specific situation, or the circumstances of the falling apart, bear with me; sorry if it doesn't address any specific issues, but feel free to send me another message to clarify.]*
It's good that you want to fix the friendship. That might seem obvious, but if there's one thing I know about long distance _____-ships, it's that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is true only to a certain extent. For the most part, distance makes things die. The lack of connection that occurs from being far away tends to lead to disinterest, and even when people realize, "Wow, it's been a really long time since we've talked, hasn't it," they usually don't feel the incentive to rekindle what's faded.
And there lies the largest aspect of the solution: communication. It's when the people who texted every day for a year suddenly don't for a week that problems start. When you used to see each other daily (or frequently), a silence that long is daunting; it's like a barrier. It's awkward. And technology may be a great way to stay in touch, but it doesn't do so by itself. You have to make the effort to 'talk'. Facebook? If your friend is online, send them a message. If it's been a while since you've talked, and you're afraid of an awkward
Hey
hi
What's up?
nmu?
Same.
that's good.
kind of conversation, make that an actual message. To their inbox. That tends to be an easier way to initiate conversation with people you're feeling less connected to.
Texting is my biggest recommendation, though (or calling); send them a message daily until it becomes normal again. Tell them you miss them, and don't ask the same questions that relatives you barely know do at family reunions. Get their address and send them a letter now and then. Mail them a package that's full of things like inside jokes, just because. The important thing is that you stay in touch. Let them know that you still think about them, and it should begin to heal itself.
Of course, if you two have had an honest-to-god falling out, things will be slightly more complicated. Conflict is different than neglect, though neglect can lead to conflict if you or your friend feel betrayed by the fact that the friendship isn't what it used to be. If your friend is someone with whom you have a more-than-friends relationship with, that complicates things even more. In these circumstances, you can't really avoid the awkward if you want to clear the air. Someone has to addresses the issue that's preventing reconnection, and the best way to do that is to just say something. There isn't always an easy way out.
Good luck! Hope this helps.
