A: Yes sir, yes ma'am.
Q: Who are you asking?
A: That's for me to know and for you to find out, unless it goes horribly wrong and I embarrass myself and don't tell you. But I probably would anyways, so fear not.
Q: Who am I supposed to ask??
A: Someone you're interested in getting to know better, in more of a not-just-friends direction.
Q: ...so I can't just ask _____? He/She's a really good friend of mine, and we could hang out, and then I could win an iTunes gift card!
A: ...no.
Q: Um, why not?
A: The point isn't to go on a "date" with a friend of yours. The point is to go on a date with someone you like/might like as more than a friend.
Q: But how will you know I didn't just ask a friend?
A: I won't: I'm not stalking you. I might make a requirement of taking a picture, but that would be more for the fun of it than for an actual requirement.
Q: So you really won't even know if I went out with anybody at all.
A: No. But as all of my coaches from all of the sports I have ever played like to say, "When you cheat, you're only cheating yourself." Here you have an opportunity (in fact, an EXCUSE) to ask someone on a date. Why wouldn't you?
Q: Am I asking them to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?
A: Of course not! That's not the point of a date; a date is to help you decide if you might be interested in being a couple. Or if you two can even talk (that's always a good thing to know).
A: I get how that can be a lot more comfortable and seem less awkward for a first date, but if you're in a group the pressure is off. And like it or not, the pressure is what's important about a first date. Like I said above... can you two keep a conversation going without friends to save it? Do you two even have anything in common to talk about? Those are the kinds of things that are sometimes best to figure out early on. As Kerry Cronin, the professor in the article I read, says:
Many students say, "I'd much rather find out about somebody in a group." But a group has a dynamic. Talking one-on-one with someone is a different animal. It is about focus: your attention is on someone else, and you are allowing someone else's attention to be on you—that makes you vulnerable.Q: My God, why would I want to do that??
A: Because you like the person, and because it's good practice.
Q: So I'm thinking the movies. Great idea, right?
A: To be honest, that was my initial thought, too. But here's the thing about going to a movie: you're probably not talking. Which seems great! No pressure! Yay! Except I just said pressure is important. Also, you're not really learning much of anything about them (which is part of the point of a date), and you're in that mildly awkward position of wondering, "Should something be happening? I mean... we're at the movies. In the upstairs section. With the couches." A movie is a good 3rd date idea... because you'll probably have that figured out by then.
Q: What am I supposed to even SAY?
A: You don't have to say, "Hey, let's go on a DATE!" Just say something along the lines of, "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go [insert something fun] on Thursday?" Or something like that. I don't have all the answers!
But it's up to you whether or not you're going to add a date (literally) to your question; in other words, the difference between "go do something sometime" and "go do something tomorrow." Adding a date right away gives them the opportunity to be "busy," or actually busy. Your call.
Q: But I want him to ask me!
A: And I want to win the lottery, but I'm much more likely to make $5,000 working than from buying tickets and waiting around; just saying.
Q: Dates are weird... why are you making a challenge about this? Why are you such a weird person? Why do you think I would do this? Who GOES on dates? Who even uses the WORD date anymore?
A: If you don't want to take the challenge, then you obviously don't have to. But before you start freaking out about it being weird and outdated to ask someone on a date, remember this: people go to thrift shops and buy clothing from over 30 years ago because they think it's cool... so it can hardly be called strange to do something that used to be more popular than it is now. And there's iCash at stake here, people.
Q: Why are you giving away iTunes gift cards?
A: Because I love you all, and I want you to be brave people.
P.S. I'm thinking about making a Facebook group so that people could really pledge to take the challenge. What do you think?
